This post goes out to all my single guy readers out there. Girls, you can keep reading too if you want, but I make no promises as to whether or not this will offend you because it's addressed to the guys.
OK, men, I'll bet most of you have had the strange opportunity of meeting some girl who seems smart, attractive, mentally stable, and generally good-smelling and find out (lo and behold) she's single. At this point, before progressing any further, you need to answer this simple question: Is she single by chance or single by choice.
When I say "single by chance" I mean that she is single and really not supposed to be. This is analogous to the case of market arbitrage, where something is priced below (or above) what it should be, and so you complete an appropriate transaction and make some quick cash. These girls may be coming out of the "rebound" period after a break-up, may have just entered the dating scene, or may have been hiding (it happens, believe me). These are green lights - good signs that you want to see and big, blinking "ALL CLEAR" notices allowing you to proceed in for the capture (aka asking out for a date).
The "single by choice" girls, on the other hand, are red lights with big flashing warning signs telling you to steer clear (at least for dating) of this chick. There is absolutely nothing wrong with these girls - except that they don't want anything to do with boys at the moment, and therefore will not be pleased at your attempts to date them. Perhaps these girls have an ideological fortress barring men, like the ultimate "no boys allowed" sign. Maybe they simply have very, very, very high (read: quirky) standards which will not allow them to date anyone but their future husbands, who they then latch on to with the fury of a hawk catching its dinner. Whatever the case, these girls don't want to be bothered, and therefore you can be assured will not be making out with you anytime soon, despite your best efforts.
So how might you go about differentiating between the two? Let's run through some sample conversations.
Boy: How about we go out for coffee sometime?
Single by chance girl: Sure.
Single by choice girl: Sure, but I'm going to bring along 15 of my closest girlfriends with us.
Boy: I'm really starting to like you.
Single by chance girl: I feel the same way.
Single by choice girl: Errr...Thanks...But I don't date.
Boy: (leans in close for a goodnight kiss after a great evening)
Single by chance girl: (kisses him, then says goodnight and scampers away smiling)
Single by choice girl: (slams the door so fast the pressure knocks the boy down)
Boy: How would you feel if I started calling you my girlfriend?
Single by chance girl: I would like that very much.
Single by choice girl: The parametics would have a hard time scraping you off the floor.
Feel free to add your own similar conversations (either imagined or experienced) in the comments. Thanks for reading.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Single by Chance or Single by Choice
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4 comments:
You spelled "paramedics" incorrectly.
As for this particular post, I must say that while I am not single by choice, I am also not entirely single by chance. I am so painfully shy on the dating scene that if some of those situations which you outlined were to happen to me, I would probably react in the same way as the Single by Choice Girl, while inwardly I'm enjoying the attention.
Unless I don't know you. In which case, I would FLIP THE FUCK OUT. Kidding. But that whole bar scene? With the touching and the random (yes, random) being-hit-upons, kinda makes me twitchy. Sure, I can handle myself, because I view it as a game, but throw something serious in there, and I'm done.
Quirks for thought.
I actually find it kind of endearing when a guy pursues me. Like when a puppy runs up to play, and you say, "Aww, how cute," and pet it once or twice before getting annoyed and gently pushing it away until it gets distracted by something else.
Wow, people are still reading this? Great! It's been wayyy too long since I've posted here. I should try to fix that in the future...
How did you all find this, anyway?
Andy
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